I’m Plotting The Network

manicdreamsnetwork

With time the pieces of the Network are revealed & created, unsequentially. If we are to think in terms of The Network being an image, the first depiction is not full bodied & rudimentarily blurry. Instead, the first depiction or sight is mostly blank space with focused details here & there, much like a largely eccentric puzzle with no final image to go by, with but few pieces accurately placed down or revealed, seemingly unsenseably so, yet undoubtedly right & true.

& Judgemental Eyes

I feel them look in my direction, and I see them cast down, out of ununderstanding, and avoid the golden green retinas fearless in state of unrelenting observation of your every movement, and how you handle my presence, and how you fail to see my truth, and how you succeed in projecting your own, onto the faces around you, how you shake hands and shake, and miss mine, however stoic I may be–I am watching you. I am penetrating you.

Drawn 2009, Applied Digital Work 2010, “I Feel Nothing,” Published within TCoM 2011,

New Colors & Reapplied in 2014 by T. A. H.

Written Circa Nov. 2014

& Refuse Expressing Others

the-artist-henry

Is it possible? I mean, to commission my expression for the expression of others…to sell the gifts however poor or great they may be, as yet to be understood or established, and take a loss for the Network in exchange for an uncertain amount ofus dollars…and what of expression born with the intention of the network & later masked to be that of another? I don’t think this is worth the exchange or the loss, for the gain as promised, uncertain as it assuredly is…it is not art without control & with the surrendering of ownership the process of creation is fueled by something foreign & not conducive to themachine as I see it. I am sorry but I cannot, at least not at this time, it is not possible.

W/ Strong Sense

A Strong Sense of Love

Into & Out-to, in out-through to others & away from the self. A keynote of T. A. H. is the transition from strict self-expression to the receiving & extending the expression of others who align with the 44th Core Values. The Family changes. Labor changes. Productivity level hits a stride. Confidence founded & maintained, & further strengthened. Blessings abound, thankfulness & appreciation trailing each opportunity without delay. The Love-Based Artist, Henry.

The Love-Based Artist

Drawn in 2011, Titled in Winter 2014, “The Love-Based Artist,” by The Young Artist

Circa December 2014, The Artist Henry


A Strong Sense of Entitlement

A Lack of Action–A strong sense of vision but a strong deprivation of seeing through small steps. What is there for this is at sober glance is built on cards. Time has passed. Time is passing. The work in The Chronicles of Mania is a false, poor draft. 44v1 became over-edited and lost its value through the medium in which it was filtered. 44v3 was thrown out the window and then eventually away during the 12k Event of 2k13. Bills stack high, momentum shifts to a struggle. I’ve aged. I am sober now. I see it how it is. I don’t know what this means for any of this work in me. I am still writing. Now though I see the work for what it is, and the gaping holes are visible–within the work, within myself. I am not embarrassed. Relationships are damaged. The one I have with myself is damaged. But I am sober. Time heals but time is moving fast and I feel so behind. Everything is moving ahead and for the almost entirety of my 20s I have voluntarily and indirectly involuntarily froze. There was a paralysis. My body aged to the still mind refusing to let go. Let go.

Circa Early Spring 2014, The Developing Artist


 

A Strong Sense of Beginning

A Blank Page– not the summer of the Blank Page, the era of my life that contains no memory & had no imagination, not even the knowledge sight of trees inside closed doors– A Blank Page, a New Beginning. The paths are there and what is chosen. The belts from trees float in the wind and I see them so far away, no longer am I to paralyze to self-confirmation of eminent, immediate end, maybe today maybe tomorrow but probably I hope today is no longer. Much of the work and the time spent as well as lost is the dealing of suicide. But that is gone. I will die naturally, not by the force of self. The living soul in me is there and it hungers life. My body is healthy and strong. My mind is learning. What is in store?

Circa Winter 2013, The Developing Artist